There seems to be no order to my days. The days that I’m supposed to feel bad may or may not be bad days and it seems like I’m always sick on my “good” days. It’s incredibly frustrating. People always ask me how I’m doing and I always answer, “Tired.” I want to be able to tell someone (anyone, but especially my husband) anything other than tired. My latest fear is that I’ll be too tired to walk the block with my son on Halloween. I mean, I guess I can stay home and pass out candy, but it’s not the same.
This “off week” has been exhausting and I hope when they take my bloodwork tomorrow they’ll find a reason for it. Maybe my counts are still low. I guess I will feel better if I know there’s a reason for it. It’s just so incredibly frustrating not knowing. I feel like a failure somehow because I’m supposed to feel better this week and I don’t. I had planned to do a little straightening up around the house and put up some Halloween decorations. I was really looking forward to that. But there have been days this week that I didn’t even come out of my pajamas. I hate that.