4:17 a.m.

My body seems to think that is “wake-up” time now.  Since there’s no way in heck I’m getting up then, I’ve been using the time for prayer.  We always complain that it’s hard to find quiet time during the day to spend time with God.  Lemme tell you, there is no quieter time than 4 a.m.  Usually after prayer time I can get back to sleep, but sometimes I get up at five if it’s apparent I’m not going back to sleep.  Today was one of those days.  My husband actually got up with me, as he couldn’t sleep either.  Little Man just started stirring a few minutes ago.

My aunt brought over Krispy Kreme yesterday and as I ate my doughnuts this morning, I contemplated food.  One thing they tell you a lot about chemo is that food will taste different.  And it does.  My brain intuitively knows that things are supposed to taste better than they are tasting.  And it’s a tough thing to reconcile.  About every fourth bite is close to what I expect it to taste like, but not quite right.  The other three bites are generally bland.  This is true for every food.  Even water tastes different.  I’ve actually started drinking a lot more sweet tea, because it is the closest I can get to a “normal” taste.

I’m trying to be better about eating protein as well.  It’s difficult for a girl who would eat meat maybe twice per week to go to needing it at almost every meal.  I’m supposed to have 100 grams of protein every day.  I can’t stand Greek yogurt.  I tried.  I do like cheese and milk, so that helps.  I’ve never been a huge fan of eggs, but I’m trying to add them to my diet.  We get free eggs sometimes with the CSA, so I really need to take advantage.  I can’t stand nuts, so don’t even suggest them.  Beans… well… I like peas and I like butter beans.  That’s it.  I keep hearing that I should give others a try, particularly now that everything tastes different on chemo.  I might like them now.  But it’s not easy to change the way you’ve been eating for 31 years.  Well, I need to go get Little Man up!

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1 Comment

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One response to “4:17 a.m.

  1. Angela Ellis

    Your use of this time for prayer is so wise. You are right that this is a quiet time of day. I think most of us, when we wake up too early, use that time to just worry. It seems so simple to turn that around into a positive, uplifting experience. I hope you don’t mind, but I shared that part with my Sunday school class today. They are such a sweet group and they like to know how you are doing.

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