Monthly Archives: June 2012

Tonsillitis, Again

My doctor is talking tonsillectomy. Anybody done this as an adult and have any advice for me? I’m not excited, but if I have to do, I want to do it before I start chemo. Anybody know if doctors do surgery pro bono? ūüėÄ Obviously, I have to talk to Dr. P. (sarcoma doc) before I make any decisions, but tonsillitis is awful. To top it all off, I’m apparently having an allergic reaction to one of the medicines the doctor prescribed. I broke out all over, am itching like crazy, swollen all over… An amazing friend is bringing over Benadryl, which the doctor told me to take. He’s also prescribing a different antibiotic. Does the pharmacy take back unused drugs? Because I’m a little tired of paying for them and not being able to use them.

I’m trying to get prepared for Houston as best as I can while feeling miserable. The folks at the hospital are actually cracking me up. I have received no less than two e-mails and three phone calls reminding me of my appointment. I have confirmed every single one of these. Do people actually forget ÔĽŅappointments to see the leading cancer doctors in the world? I mean, really.

So today will be spent enjoying ice cream and my bed, once the itching stops. I’ll try to post again as I get to Houston and keep you updated on what I know.

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Fear

As the month of June draws to a close and I get closer to the time I will need to go to Houston, I realize that I am scared. ¬†It’s been really easy this month to just hide my head in the sand and pretend like all is normal. ¬†I have had a fantastic month with my husband and son, and I so don’t look forward to becoming sick again. ¬†I am currently in a Bible study at church where we are talking about what women fear. ¬†The book we are reading is not doing it for me, but the bonus is that each week I get new Bible verses about fear. ¬†

Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go.” Joshua 1:9

 

Matthew 10 ¬†“28¬†Do not be afraid of those who kill the body but cannot kill the soul. Rather, be afraid of the One who can destroy both soul and body in hell.¬†29¬†Are not two sparrows sold for a penny¬†? Yet not one of them will fall to the ground apart from the will of your Father.¬†30¬†And even the very hairs of your head are all numbered.¬†31¬†So don‚Äôt be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows.

 

Hebrews 13:6- “So we say with confidence, ‘The Lord is my helper; I will not be afraid. What can man do to me?’

 

Isaiah 41:10 РSo do not fear, for I am with you; 
    do not be dismayed, for I am your God.
I will strengthen you and help you;
    I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.

I am working on committing these to memory. ¬†I honestly don’t know what to pray for some days. ¬†Should I pray for strength? ¬†For grace? ¬†Cancer is such an over-arching thing; it takes over everything. ¬†Sometimes I let it overwhelm me. ¬†But why should I? ¬†Cancer is not bigger than my God. ¬†

As I begin to step forward into this next very difficult time in my life, I know in Whose hands I reside.  He has shown us time and time again that He will always be there for us.  It is often that I only see His hand when I look backwards, at events that are long past.  I pray that I will be able to see His hand in the moment through this battle.  And I pray that I will be able to rest in Him, not rely on my own strength.

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Whoops

I think I forgot to post when MD Anderson published my post on their Cancerwise blog. It’s up, from last Thursday, if you’re interested. Sorry! I posted on Facebook, but I forgot here. It’s a little choppy and there’s an error in there that irritates me (because I am totally a grammar nazi) but as I often say, “It is what it is.”

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Thank You

Thanks for the prayers! Little Man is out of surgery, but recovery was difficult. He is currently asleep and I hope he will be better when he wakes up.

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Prayers Tomorrow, Please

First off, thank you so much for all the suggestions to get some more protein in me. ¬†I’m mainly looking for snacks and breakfast options, and I got a lot of great ones.¬†

Tomorrow we take my Little Man in for tubes in his ears and to have his adenoids out. ¬†He did well with the first surgery, but it was more than a year ago. ¬†He’s much more independent now and I think it’s going to be hard. ¬†This will officially use all the medical money we had set aside for the year, so everything else will be out of pocket. ¬†

I talked to my pharmacist today. ¬†She has been really amazing at helping us with costs of drugs, so I asked her if there was a way to get the $67/ month drug (Premarin, for menopause) down to something less. ¬†Most of the cost per month comes from that and every time we have to fill something stronger for Little Man when he gets yet another ear infection. ¬†Anyway, they looked up an alternative drug that is only one form of estrogen instead of the two in the Premarin. ¬†It costs $3/ month. ¬†So after my trip to Houston, if the doctor there okays me staying on estrogen with chemo or radiation, I’ll be asking my OB if he’ll prescribe that instead.¬†

Hopefully this surgery will get my Little Man back to his usual healthy self. ¬†I truly hate it when he isn’t feeling well. ¬†I’m just glad the doctor could fit us in before I have to leave for Houston. ¬†So as nervous as I am for Little Man tomorrow, I’m glad it’s happening. ¬†But we could certainly use some prayers!

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Help Me!

I’m sure I mentioned that part of the Oncology Wellness program is meeting with a nutritionist. ¬†When I met with her last week, she told me that she really wants me to get between 80-100 grams of protein every day. When I left her office I felt confident, but a few days later, I’m having trouble. ¬†I need recipes. ¬†I typically only eat chicken and fish, and I don’t even do those every day. ¬†I am attempting to eat beef roast or pork roast, and adding eggs, but I need new recipes. ¬†Please share any recipes you have!

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Perspective

Today was a hard day for me. ¬†Sometimes emotions hit me when I least expect them to. ¬†I knew that I have really been dreading the dentist appointment I had today, but I could not figure out why. ¬†Suddenly on the way over, I remembered that I was pregnant the last time I saw them. ¬†And I¬†really¬†didn’t want to get into the whole story with them. ¬†

Luckily when I got there, they already knew. ¬†But that didn’t stop me from crying through the whole appointment. ¬†And when I found out I had two cavities. ¬†Y’all, I haven’t had a cavity since I was like seven years old. ¬†But two cavities shouldn’t make me cry like a baby. ¬†

But then tonight some people came over from our church. ¬†They prayed for us and then proceeded to several things around the house. ¬†They cleaned out our garage, reorganized the closet in what will be my son’s new room, and cleaned out all of the dead branches, etc. in our backyard. ¬†It was such a blessing. ¬†It reminded me that my God will always take care of me. ¬†I may not understand what is happening or why my emotions randomly get out of control, but He is still taking care of me. ¬†

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